The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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