I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
