i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
