When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
no you cant smoke seaweed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we should paint friendship bongs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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