You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
