But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
