3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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