i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
