I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
