how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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