I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
