In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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