Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
