Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
