I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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