Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my phone needs a breathalizer
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
