I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
