his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
