Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
