elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
