I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
