But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
