This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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