Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
