my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
