mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
