Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You ate ashes out of my bong
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
