Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
being pregnant is like rehab
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
