So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
