I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
