Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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