party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
