i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
