Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
