I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
