coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
