I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
