You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
