Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
