he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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