You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
