I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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