I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
