I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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