She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
