soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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