Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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