I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
