My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
