I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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