what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
